Services we offer at The Schorman Center
- Adult Grief Support
- Youth Grief Support
- Pet Loss
- Grief Workshop
- Resource Library
- Grieving Etiquette
- Yoga for Grief Relief
Grief Support for Adults
Meeting days and times vary according to the needs of the group members. Call the Schorman Center for details.
• Have deep feelings of sorrow
• Feel tightness in the throat or heaviness in the chest
• Feel guilty at times, angry at others
• Find it difficult to concentrate
• Have difficulty sleeping or feel exhausted most of the time
• Experience frequent mood swings
• Cry at unexpected times
How we can help
• Individual grief counseling
• Open monthly grief support group meeting
• Specialized open monthly suicide grief support meeting
• Coordination with other community resources
• Workplace grief support
• In-service training on grief and loss as requested
• Educational grief- related library books and videos
Grief Support for Youth
Does your child
• No longer want to participate in activities
• Have difficulty concentrating in school
• Act angry at times
• Show new behaviors not present before his/her loss
• Have a change in eating or sleeping habits
• Show a decline in school performance
• Show signs of regressive behaviors such as thumb sucking, clinginess, bed wetting
• Have frequent or unexpected bouts of crying
How we can help
• Individual grief counseling using discussion, books, crafts, and other appropriate activities
• Grief support groups in schools
• Camp Forget- Me-Not (a day grief camp for youth ages 7-17)
• Coordination with other community and school resources
• Educational grief related library books and videos
Our pets are not our whole life, but they do help make us whole. They love us, forgive us, comfort us, teach us, entertain us, and give us purpose. Sometimes they are our friend, sometimes our children, always a part of us unlike any human can be. We can confide in them with no judgement or contrary feedback. Is it any wonder that when they die we are at a loss to know how to pick up our daily routine without them?
The Schorman Center counselors are in tune with these realities and available to help you deal with the loss of your special pet. Helen Keller said, “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” If you are struggling with the pain of having said goodbye to your pet love, call us. We can help.
Etiquette of Grief
When we are confronted with the death of a loved one it is often awkward to know what to say to the family or other friends. There is an “etiquette” to grief. How we communicate our feelings or reactions to the death can either be helpful and supportive to the grieving person or our words can create stress, disappointment, and hardship for them as they feel we “don’t understand.” Below are some thoughts to consider before you speak when, with all good intention, you try to offer sympathy to another.
Some Comments That May Comfort
– I am sad for your loss.
– I’m thinking about you.
– I know this must be terribly difficult – it must hurt so much.
– I won’t forget him or her.
– She was a very special person because…..
– I’m here if you need me.
– I wish you the peace and comfort of warm memories.
– How lonely you must be.
– Let me take the children, fix a meal, mow the lawn, etc. Be specific rather than “call me if you need me.”
Some Comments That May Hurt
– Time heals.
– I know how you feel.
– It must have been God’s will.
– Aren’t you happy he is with God now?
– God took her because she was so good.
– You are the man/woman of the house now.
– You are fortunate that it wasn’t like….
– You have to be strong for your mother or whomever.
– Don’t cry. He wouldn’t have wanted you to cry.
– If you have enough faith you will accept this loss and it won’t be difficult.
After a miscarriage or death of a newborn/child – What not to say…
– You are young you can have more children.
– At least you have other children.
– You can try again.
– It’s better that it happened now.
– Most people like to hear the name of their loved one spoken and stories shared about them. Don’t be afraid to do that with your family or friend. Be specific about the personal qualities or experiences you appreciate in your memory of the relationship with the deceased.
– Don’t be afraid to address someone as “Mrs.” Even though they are a widow. Using their marital title allows that person to keep a part of the identity they are fearful of losing.
– Continue to include your friend or family member in outings or events you used to do as a couple or group.
– Stay in touch – fight the inclination to “drift” away from the relationship that used to be special between you even if you are unsure of how to keep the relationship going.
– Don’t be afraid to ask your family/friend what they need. Offer to find resources that could help with specific needs, or offer to shop for groceries, take them to dinner, or pick up for church. Sometimes it is difficult for a newly grieving person to know how to “fit in” in even familiar situations.
If you’ve ever been in the throes of grief, you likely are aware that the body is a vehicle for expressing what the heart and mind are experiencing. Even if we are unaware of our feelings, the body IS aware – and provides a way to allow, honor and transform them. We understandably seek to avoid unwanted feelings by numbing, distraction, keeping busy, staying in bed, isolating or any number of other methods – and almost anything that works in the moment is valuable. For the longer term, however, finding a safe space for unwanted feelings can set us on a path for healing.
Marilyn Eberhart, a local yoga teacher with 20 years experience, has worked with Hospice of Warren County to design a 6-week experience that offers tools for navigating the grief process through mindfulness, compassion, breath work and being gentle with the body. There will be a Hospice bereavement counselor in attendance for additional support. Classes are offered on Wednesdays from 5:15-6:45 at First Lutheran Church, 019 W. Third Avenue.
Pre-registration is required. Call the Schorman Center (723-8060) for further information or to register.